ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
[Autumn but all the events are taking place indoors so the season can only be suggested with clothes and expression of the actors. Small, suburban, non-self-service grocery shop. There is a Clerk - a bespectacled woman in her sixties, wearing a make up that makes her look like she tries to look younger but it's easily visible that she is not twenty any more. Gray (or poorly dyed), short hair. She wears a smock with a logotype embroidered on the left side of her chest which is probably the shop's logo. She reads a pictured magazine.]
[Customer 1 comes in. He looks very ordinarily, 30 years old. Just an ordinary person. The Clerk shows no reaction.]
Customer 1: I am so sorry to bother you... Do you maybe possibly have some buns? [Asks as politely and humbly as he can, yet audibly enough to leave no place for misunderstanding.]
[The Clerk shows no reaction.]
Customer 1: ...Excuse me?
[He forces himself to smile]
Customer 1: Ma'am...?
[He comes closer to the counter]
[The Clerk slides her glasses up on her nose and takes a not so friendly look at Customer 1.]
Clerk: Yes...? [vexed tone of voice]
Customer 1: I'm sorry to bother you, I would only like to ask if you maybe have some buns.
[The Clerk stares at Customer 1 for a while and eventually takes a look on a shelf behind her where behind the plastic screen buns are stocked. If the details were important (probably won't, but if), they are not very fresh. Then she looks at Customer 1 again]
Clerk: Yes, we have.
Customer 1: Then, could you please let me have four buns? And one carton of milk...? If it wouldn't bother you, of course.
[The Clerk with no rush stands up, reaches for the buns and (again with no rush) puts them one by one into a plastic bag until there are four of them inside. She puts the bag on a counter desk in front of Customer 1. Customer 1 waits. The Clerk moves to another shelf looking for a milk, what takes her some time, then reaches for it and puts it in front of Customer 1.]
Clerk: It's very fresh. [Pointing to the milk] Delivered last week. [She basically just compliments the so said quality of the milk]
Customer 1: Oh, that's lovely. [Smile]
[In the meantime Customer 2 comes in and stands in a queue. He looks a bit wealthier than Customer 1. Although the differences are visible, Customer 2 still looks realistic. After all, he's a human - not a cartoon.]
Clerk: Your income statement, sir...? [dispassionate tone of voice.]
Customer 1: Ah, yes, yes, I have got it...
[With a smile on his face, he takes a twice folded piece of paper out of his pocket and passes it to the Clerk. He doesn't look any surprised.]
Customer 1: Here it is.
[The Clerk unfold the paper and takes a while to read it.]
Clerk: Well, well, well... 2 300 euro, that's nice... [She just loudly compliments his salary]
[Customer 1 shrug his arms]
Customer 1: I cover one and a half of a shift but it's definitely worth it. [Proud posture]
[In the meantime, Customer 2 checks something in his iPhone, iPad, SmartPhone or any other expensive device you like and check a text message or whatever. For a while a silver Rolex can be noticed on his wrist but he hides it again immediately by shaking his forearm (this may be difficult to show on the scene but I suppose it will be enough just to show the gesture and spectators will connect the dots. Anyway, neither filming camera nor actors should focus on that.)]
Clerk: ...social security approved, trade union approved, uhum... [mumbled monologue]
[Customer 2 puts his mobile back into his pocket]
Clerk: 'kay, so now...
[The Clerk takes a calculator out from the drawer under the counter]
Customer 1: How much?
[The Clerk gives him a hateful/disdainful look]
Clerk: Keep your shirt on. Sir. [aggressive] Perfection needs some time, you know? Do you?
Customer 1: I'm... I'm sorry... [very humble]
Clerk: I hope so...!
[The Clerk looks again at the calculator and starts counting. Every time before she pushes a button, it takes her a few seconds to think, so the whole process takes pretty much a lot of time]
Clerk: Nananah... [...or oops, or any other onomatopoeia you will like]
[By mistake she pushed a wrong button so she has to start everything from the beginning. Customer 1 and Customer 2 wait patiently]
Clerk: It is 28 euro.*
Customer 1: Uh, not so bad, I think the inflation went down in the last weeks. A month ago when I bought the same the price was 28 euro too. [Almost very happy. He takes the money out from a pocket of his trousers, puts in front of the Clerk and puts the income statement back in the pocket of his jacket]
Clerk: You see? The right party has the government so the prices rise slower, and there is more shops, sir...
[Clerk takes the money, count them twice, slowly, eventually put them into the counter machine]
Clerk: Now you tell me, sir, those rolls and milk are for a breakfast? For a dinner?
Customer 1: For a brunch.
[The Clerk takes a fairly thick book of forms/blanks, folds back those already filled and puts the book on the counter. She takes a pen (fixed to the counter with a long chain) and is just about to start writing when she changes her mind all of a sudden]
Clerk: Then I can't sell you that, sir. [she notices]
Customer 1: What!? B-but why? [aghast]
Clerk: I just can't. There is no such an option as "brunch", I'm so sorry. [She's not]
Customer 1: Oh... So what have we got there then?
[Customer 1 takes a look at his Rolex to check the time but he remains patient and silent]
Clerk: A breakfast, a lunch, a dinner and a supper.
Customer 1: Ok, so would you mark a lunch then?
[Clerk isn't very content]
Clerk: I'm not sure... You see, I-I can't just write there whatever I want, there is a law that bonds me...
Customer 1: Oh, no, ma'am, you don't have to worry. I will take it on my own account, if they want to fire you or...
Clerk: Are you kidding me!? [offended] NOBODY has EVER been fired from a position like mine! Hmpf... what a ridiculous idea...
Customer 1: B-b-but...
Clerk: Agh... Al right, I'm marking "lunch" and go away now.
[With one fast move Clerk checks something in the form and passes it to Customer 1]
Customer 1: Thank you, thank you so much, ma'am...
[He sign it immediately]
Customer 1: Good bye and again, thank you...
[Customer 1 immediately takes the bags with purchased goods and goes away in haste. The Clerk follows him with her eyes. Customer 2 finally comes to the counter]
Customer 2: Can I have four...
Clerk [interrupt him]: Not at the moment, sir. It's my time for a fifteen minutes break. Even I eventually need some rest. I am not here specially for you, you know...?
Customer 2: Well.. of course I... know...
[The Clerk go away. Customer 2 take a look at his Rolex and begins to pass the time with any simple activity. Can be playing a yo-yo or whatever may cross your mind. After 1 minute of the real time (our time) the Clerk comes back.]
Clerk: How can I help you? [totally dispassionate tone of voice]
Customer 2: Oh. Yeah. Can I have 4 buns, 1 milk and two onions, please?
Clerk: Oke... Just a second...
[The Clerk, with no rush, takes those products putting them in a plastic bag.]
Clerk: Your income statement, sir.
Customer 2: Unfortunately, I have no income... [he put his hand in an inside pocket of his jacket]
Clerk: Then, your no-income statement, sir.
Customer 2: Yes, yes, I'm just...
[Customer 2 takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and put it on the counter in front of the Clerk. She began to read.]
Clerk: Approved... approved... [mumble to herself]
[The Clerk begins to count using her calculator.]
Clerk: 19 euro it is.
[The Customer 2 puts his hand in his trousers' pocket]
Customer 2: To be honest... The food is pretty expensive these days, don'cha think, ma'am?
Clerk: I wouldn't say that... The costs of delivery are unavoidable this days.
Customer 2: Ah, right... And the price of gasoline went up even higher recently...
[Customer 2 gives the money to the Clerk]
Clerk: What I actually meant was that before I can give you such a roll or an onion, sir, each and every one of them must be examined by the applicable institutions and it all costs, sir...
[The Clerk rises her hand a bit and rub her fingers in a gesture saying "MONEY"]
[In the meantime, Customer 3 appears on the scene. It's a young girl, ca. 20 years old. Judging from her expression, she is in hurry.]
Clerk: They have to pay to the quality checkers, to those who check the quality checkers, those who observe, those who fill out documents and those who hand-copy the documents, since the paper is too expensive nowadays to just xero-copy anything you wish.
[The Clerk reach for the book of blanks]
Customer 2: Yeah, that's reasonable... [he admits sincerely]
Clerk: And sometimes the bribe is essential to make it pass all the control.
[the Clerk look at the blank and ponder]
Customer 2: A supper.
[She glance at Customer 2]
Clerk: Mhm.
[The Clerk marks something in the blank and passes it to Customer 2 who sign it immediately]
Customer 2: Thanks and good bye.
[Customer 2 takes his goods and goes out of the scene]
Customer 3: Hi, I just quick... [talks lively]
Clerk [interrupts]: I'm sorry, but we close at 5 and it's already 4:54 so in fact I am already done for today.
Customer 3: But...
Clerk: What "but"? The next time you will come in time and I will find time for you. But first you need to know, ma'am, the respect for others and their time, you are not a child any more.
[Clerk put the sign "CLOSED. Please, approach another counter" (though there is only one), takes off her smock and disappears behind the back door. Customer 3 is being left alone on the scene.]
Customer 3 [almost whispering to herself]: But I just need menstrual pads...
*for those, who will do the show outside of Eurozone - take ANY price. Just make sure, that it's definitely to high. Like 10 times higher than average would be al right. Also, the income of Customer 1 should be like average or little bit lower. Just little bit.
All genders are changeable and play no role, beside of the fact that if Customer 3 was a man, he most probably wouldn't be in need of pads but this comes without saying.
[Customer 1 comes in. He looks very ordinarily, 30 years old. Just an ordinary person. The Clerk shows no reaction.]
Customer 1: I am so sorry to bother you... Do you maybe possibly have some buns? [Asks as politely and humbly as he can, yet audibly enough to leave no place for misunderstanding.]
[The Clerk shows no reaction.]
Customer 1: ...Excuse me?
[He forces himself to smile]
Customer 1: Ma'am...?
[He comes closer to the counter]
[The Clerk slides her glasses up on her nose and takes a not so friendly look at Customer 1.]
Clerk: Yes...? [vexed tone of voice]
Customer 1: I'm sorry to bother you, I would only like to ask if you maybe have some buns.
[The Clerk stares at Customer 1 for a while and eventually takes a look on a shelf behind her where behind the plastic screen buns are stocked. If the details were important (probably won't, but if), they are not very fresh. Then she looks at Customer 1 again]
Clerk: Yes, we have.
Customer 1: Then, could you please let me have four buns? And one carton of milk...? If it wouldn't bother you, of course.
[The Clerk with no rush stands up, reaches for the buns and (again with no rush) puts them one by one into a plastic bag until there are four of them inside. She puts the bag on a counter desk in front of Customer 1. Customer 1 waits. The Clerk moves to another shelf looking for a milk, what takes her some time, then reaches for it and puts it in front of Customer 1.]
Clerk: It's very fresh. [Pointing to the milk] Delivered last week. [She basically just compliments the so said quality of the milk]
Customer 1: Oh, that's lovely. [Smile]
[In the meantime Customer 2 comes in and stands in a queue. He looks a bit wealthier than Customer 1. Although the differences are visible, Customer 2 still looks realistic. After all, he's a human - not a cartoon.]
Clerk: Your income statement, sir...? [dispassionate tone of voice.]
Customer 1: Ah, yes, yes, I have got it...
[With a smile on his face, he takes a twice folded piece of paper out of his pocket and passes it to the Clerk. He doesn't look any surprised.]
Customer 1: Here it is.
[The Clerk unfold the paper and takes a while to read it.]
Clerk: Well, well, well... 2 300 euro, that's nice... [She just loudly compliments his salary]
[Customer 1 shrug his arms]
Customer 1: I cover one and a half of a shift but it's definitely worth it. [Proud posture]
[In the meantime, Customer 2 checks something in his iPhone, iPad, SmartPhone or any other expensive device you like and check a text message or whatever. For a while a silver Rolex can be noticed on his wrist but he hides it again immediately by shaking his forearm (this may be difficult to show on the scene but I suppose it will be enough just to show the gesture and spectators will connect the dots. Anyway, neither filming camera nor actors should focus on that.)]
Clerk: ...social security approved, trade union approved, uhum... [mumbled monologue]
[Customer 2 puts his mobile back into his pocket]
Clerk: 'kay, so now...
[The Clerk takes a calculator out from the drawer under the counter]
Customer 1: How much?
[The Clerk gives him a hateful/disdainful look]
Clerk: Keep your shirt on. Sir. [aggressive] Perfection needs some time, you know? Do you?
Customer 1: I'm... I'm sorry... [very humble]
Clerk: I hope so...!
[The Clerk looks again at the calculator and starts counting. Every time before she pushes a button, it takes her a few seconds to think, so the whole process takes pretty much a lot of time]
Clerk: Nananah... [...or oops, or any other onomatopoeia you will like]
[By mistake she pushed a wrong button so she has to start everything from the beginning. Customer 1 and Customer 2 wait patiently]
Clerk: It is 28 euro.*
Customer 1: Uh, not so bad, I think the inflation went down in the last weeks. A month ago when I bought the same the price was 28 euro too. [Almost very happy. He takes the money out from a pocket of his trousers, puts in front of the Clerk and puts the income statement back in the pocket of his jacket]
Clerk: You see? The right party has the government so the prices rise slower, and there is more shops, sir...
[Clerk takes the money, count them twice, slowly, eventually put them into the counter machine]
Clerk: Now you tell me, sir, those rolls and milk are for a breakfast? For a dinner?
Customer 1: For a brunch.
[The Clerk takes a fairly thick book of forms/blanks, folds back those already filled and puts the book on the counter. She takes a pen (fixed to the counter with a long chain) and is just about to start writing when she changes her mind all of a sudden]
Clerk: Then I can't sell you that, sir. [she notices]
Customer 1: What!? B-but why? [aghast]
Clerk: I just can't. There is no such an option as "brunch", I'm so sorry. [She's not]
Customer 1: Oh... So what have we got there then?
[Customer 1 takes a look at his Rolex to check the time but he remains patient and silent]
Clerk: A breakfast, a lunch, a dinner and a supper.
Customer 1: Ok, so would you mark a lunch then?
[Clerk isn't very content]
Clerk: I'm not sure... You see, I-I can't just write there whatever I want, there is a law that bonds me...
Customer 1: Oh, no, ma'am, you don't have to worry. I will take it on my own account, if they want to fire you or...
Clerk: Are you kidding me!? [offended] NOBODY has EVER been fired from a position like mine! Hmpf... what a ridiculous idea...
Customer 1: B-b-but...
Clerk: Agh... Al right, I'm marking "lunch" and go away now.
[With one fast move Clerk checks something in the form and passes it to Customer 1]
Customer 1: Thank you, thank you so much, ma'am...
[He sign it immediately]
Customer 1: Good bye and again, thank you...
[Customer 1 immediately takes the bags with purchased goods and goes away in haste. The Clerk follows him with her eyes. Customer 2 finally comes to the counter]
Customer 2: Can I have four...
Clerk [interrupt him]: Not at the moment, sir. It's my time for a fifteen minutes break. Even I eventually need some rest. I am not here specially for you, you know...?
Customer 2: Well.. of course I... know...
[The Clerk go away. Customer 2 take a look at his Rolex and begins to pass the time with any simple activity. Can be playing a yo-yo or whatever may cross your mind. After 1 minute of the real time (our time) the Clerk comes back.]
Clerk: How can I help you? [totally dispassionate tone of voice]
Customer 2: Oh. Yeah. Can I have 4 buns, 1 milk and two onions, please?
Clerk: Oke... Just a second...
[The Clerk, with no rush, takes those products putting them in a plastic bag.]
Clerk: Your income statement, sir.
Customer 2: Unfortunately, I have no income... [he put his hand in an inside pocket of his jacket]
Clerk: Then, your no-income statement, sir.
Customer 2: Yes, yes, I'm just...
[Customer 2 takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and put it on the counter in front of the Clerk. She began to read.]
Clerk: Approved... approved... [mumble to herself]
[The Clerk begins to count using her calculator.]
Clerk: 19 euro it is.
[The Customer 2 puts his hand in his trousers' pocket]
Customer 2: To be honest... The food is pretty expensive these days, don'cha think, ma'am?
Clerk: I wouldn't say that... The costs of delivery are unavoidable this days.
Customer 2: Ah, right... And the price of gasoline went up even higher recently...
[Customer 2 gives the money to the Clerk]
Clerk: What I actually meant was that before I can give you such a roll or an onion, sir, each and every one of them must be examined by the applicable institutions and it all costs, sir...
[The Clerk rises her hand a bit and rub her fingers in a gesture saying "MONEY"]
[In the meantime, Customer 3 appears on the scene. It's a young girl, ca. 20 years old. Judging from her expression, she is in hurry.]
Clerk: They have to pay to the quality checkers, to those who check the quality checkers, those who observe, those who fill out documents and those who hand-copy the documents, since the paper is too expensive nowadays to just xero-copy anything you wish.
[The Clerk reach for the book of blanks]
Customer 2: Yeah, that's reasonable... [he admits sincerely]
Clerk: And sometimes the bribe is essential to make it pass all the control.
[the Clerk look at the blank and ponder]
Customer 2: A supper.
[She glance at Customer 2]
Clerk: Mhm.
[The Clerk marks something in the blank and passes it to Customer 2 who sign it immediately]
Customer 2: Thanks and good bye.
[Customer 2 takes his goods and goes out of the scene]
Customer 3: Hi, I just quick... [talks lively]
Clerk [interrupts]: I'm sorry, but we close at 5 and it's already 4:54 so in fact I am already done for today.
Customer 3: But...
Clerk: What "but"? The next time you will come in time and I will find time for you. But first you need to know, ma'am, the respect for others and their time, you are not a child any more.
[Clerk put the sign "CLOSED. Please, approach another counter" (though there is only one), takes off her smock and disappears behind the back door. Customer 3 is being left alone on the scene.]
Customer 3 [almost whispering to herself]: But I just need menstrual pads...
*for those, who will do the show outside of Eurozone - take ANY price. Just make sure, that it's definitely to high. Like 10 times higher than average would be al right. Also, the income of Customer 1 should be like average or little bit lower. Just little bit.
All genders are changeable and play no role, beside of the fact that if Customer 3 was a man, he most probably wouldn't be in need of pads but this comes without saying.
Yes, it's pretty cynical but I felt it couldn't be said otherwise. I suppose there will be other acts. The main theme of this series (if I didn't tell you yet) is "The most stupid things I have ever heard from a leftist". This particular act is sponsored by the "progressive income tax is just and good and a country could never work properly without it" myth. I don't understand how can anyone say that taking money by force from anybody is just (in most of the cases - it's not even legal) or good but if we have to do it, the most just would obviously be a poll tax. Everybody would pay for exactly what he gets. No more. No less. It would be such a simple system, that the number of the state officers could be cut half (at least). Generally, I think that even in the system we already have, we could fire at least 70% percent of them and have more money to help the sick and feed the poor, but maybe I am too idealistic here.
Any way... when it comes to tickets being deducted as a percentage of a month salary, I have no objections for that. I mean, come on, it must be equal punishment for everyone. If you have two persons who committed the same crime and one of them will be starving for 3 next months and another will just pay and forget after a short while, something is not ok here. Both of them should be equally discouraged from committing this crime again.
Also, I don't "hate" people on the left. I respect them a lot. I just disagree with some of their statements. That's it. Feel free to share (either here in comments or in private) your opinion, if you disagree with mine. Maybe I'm only misinformed and you are going to change my view. And finally - feel free to share your opinion about the quality of my work. I NEED IT. REALLY. I DO.
Other language versions:
astazja.deviantart.com/art/PL-… - Polish
If you want to translate my piece to another language, just do it. And then let me know, so I will put a link to your work here. And if you see any spelling or grammar mistake in my work, also let me know. English is not my first language, so anything could happen here.
Any way... when it comes to tickets being deducted as a percentage of a month salary, I have no objections for that. I mean, come on, it must be equal punishment for everyone. If you have two persons who committed the same crime and one of them will be starving for 3 next months and another will just pay and forget after a short while, something is not ok here. Both of them should be equally discouraged from committing this crime again.
Also, I don't "hate" people on the left. I respect them a lot. I just disagree with some of their statements. That's it. Feel free to share (either here in comments or in private) your opinion, if you disagree with mine. Maybe I'm only misinformed and you are going to change my view. And finally - feel free to share your opinion about the quality of my work. I NEED IT. REALLY. I DO.
Other language versions:
astazja.deviantart.com/art/PL-… - Polish
If you want to translate my piece to another language, just do it. And then let me know, so I will put a link to your work here. And if you see any spelling or grammar mistake in my work, also let me know. English is not my first language, so anything could happen here.
Comments3
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WOO this was awesome to act out. 